I figured if that title didn’t grab some attention, nothing would! Well, it’s true. It happened in the store. How it happened, i’m still not really sure.
It actually happened to my husband first. He was carrying C through the grocery store when he suddenly said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Then he pointed out his wet shirt. And I, being the considerate wife that I am, laughed. He did not. 🙂 (He’ll survive.) It was all fun and games until she decided that she wanted me. So I had to share in the joy. Needless to say, we got out of there as quickly as we could. Somewhere between paying at the cash register and walking to the car,
we I was suddenly in a not so great mood. Probably had something to do with the pee on my shirt. So I stress cleaned when I got home. And directed every other living being in my home to do so as well. All sweet like. You know what I mean by sweet-like? Like, “I’m tired of being the only one cleaning up this house! Get off your butts and do something!” Whose butts were I referring to? M and C. My 33 year old and almost 2 year old. So really, my 33 year old. That’s what I call my husband when I’m stressed and being ill. He morphs from my dear, sweet, helpful husband into the man-child that I know him to be! He loves me either way. And does not do as I demand. He makes me nag for about 30 more minutes before he gives in. We keep each other firmly nailed to the ground. 🙂
After the stress-cleaning was over, I indulged in my not-so-secret motherly weapon. It’s the one thing that I think every mother should keep in her house at all times. And that would be Haagen-Dazs ice cream. I highly recommend Pineapple Coconut or just plain ol’ Chocolate. They have about a bazillion flavors, but I just haven’t tried very many yet. I’m also a BIG fan of Blue Bell ice cream. You can only get it in the South as far as I know. Either way, find some and keep some in the freezer. You know, for stress cleaning days. And Mondays. And Tuesday through Sunday days. For emergencies. 🙂
In other life-pondering thoughts, please answer me this: what is the purpose of serving your toddler a plate of food while they sit in the high chair? Does ANY of it remain on the plate? If it does, count your lucky stars. And while you’re counting, I’ll be scrubbing the lid/high chair plate/table thing. Whatever the thing is called that they can eat off of.
And lastly, just for information’s sake, you know those little animal figurines that you can buy at the Dollar Tree? We play with those in Playdoh. Mysteriously, sometimes they end up in my floor instead of in the bucket where they belong. And if you step on one by accident, it makes you wanna yell more profanities than if you stepped on a Lego. I just felt convicted to share that with you all.
My kid better be glad that she’s REALLY cute.
It’s that time again. Time to go and wash the sticky, fruit punch sucker spit from my child’s face and hands. And whatever else she currently has stuck to her body. Remnants of dinner and Playdoh and heaven only knows what else. Please excuse me while I go huff baby shampoo and try to explain for the one hundred billionth time that we don’t tap dance in the bath tub.