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A Little Bit of Mystery Wouldn’t Hurt Anybody

I just wanna put this out there for the world to hear : There is absolutely no mystery in marriage. It’s the truth. You would be astonished at how often my husband feels the need to tell me how many times a day he has pooped.

I don’t wanna know about that.

But he feels that it’s necessary information to share with me.

I’ve been watching a lot of Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings on TLC lately. I’m not really sure why. But after Ellen goes off, some days I feel like watching Doctor Oz and some days I just don’t care to see him do aerobics in his scrubs. As precious as he may be.

So anyway, I’ve been watching these shows and they’re so sparkly and princessy and lovey dovey. And that is just WONDERFUL! But I wanna tell these girls that they have no freaking idea what they are in for. Not even if they’ve lived with their man before getting married. It takes a few years before the shiny stuff wears off, but it wears off baby!

I love my husband more than I ever thought I could love somebody. But in all his glory, I know that if I dare to pull myself out of the bed at 7 in the morning and peek out the back door window, there’s a good possibility that I am going to find him “watering the plants” if ya know what I mean.

And while I’m on the subject, what is it about peeing in the yard that is so appealing to the male population? I can’t have the only one who does this.

Anyway girls, get ready.

And if you’re already married, then ya already know what I mean. Surely you do.

I promise  plan to have classier posts in the future. The next time I go to Dillards and spray on some J’adore, I’ll tell ya all about it. 🙂

Sweet dreams!

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2 thoughts on “A Little Bit of Mystery Wouldn’t Hurt Anybody

  1. Haha! That’s hysterical! Yeah e..hasn’t done too much un-shiny stuff yet..although I’m guessing if you ask him..he probably thinks I share too much!!:) he did one weekend wear the same tan military undershirt all day Friday-Sunday night when finally I asked him to change it..did I tell you it was hot out at he’s allergic to deodorant..not a pleasant combination..

    1. Someone I know (who will remain nameless) has not been writing about her not having a plan… ahem. And I’m about to send out a search party. A big search party. To your mattress. Don’t make me do it! I miss you!

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