Yesterday was an unusual Friday for me. Matt was off work for Good Friday, but I still had class. Since he was home, Tater Tot was able to stay home with him instead of being dragged out of bed at 8:30 am and thrown in the car. It was really nice. I slept until 8:30. On a school day! I feel like I’m 10 just saying that.
Because she was home with Daddy, I was able to skip the usual dropping her off at my grandparents’ house and the ensuing separation breakdown that occurs. My child is smart. She tightly clasps the side of my shirt or demands that I hold her hand and “sit, sit” right beside her. She knows that I have to leave, but is convinced that if she can just keep her eyes on me, I won’t go. And sometimes, she’s very close to winning that battle. I hate leaving her, especially when she’s calling me and crying. It’s like having someone rip your heart out, stomp on it, and then cut it up into little pieces. Absolute torture.
One of my friends told me that we are going to have “attachment issues” because we’re together too much. And by together too much, she means that Casey sleeping in the middle of my husband and I is going to create a monster. Well, I know it’s frowned upon for her to be climbing into bed between us, but I really don’t care what anyone thinks about it. My husband has the same opinion. She doesn’t take up too much space and she isn’t interrupting “play time” because quite frankly, we do that when she takes a nap because we’re too blasted tired by the time she goes to sleep at night. And honestly, I like knowing that she’s covered up (because I constantly throw blankets over her legs during the night), that she’s breathing (it’s weird, but doesn’t every mother check for that?), and that she’s right there in case anything was to happen. I can’t imagine having her two rooms over. I’d never, ever sleep.
Wow, that was an ADD rabbit trail!
Anyway, we’re attached to say the least. Even though we didn’t have to separate first thing in the morning, we did have to take her to Gran’s so that we could go to the Good Friday service at my church. Long story short, she doesn’t care for the nursery because (you guessed it) she doesn’t like being in there with people she doesn’t know. We haven’t taken her back in about a year, but we’re about to start trying again because I really want her in church.
So, we dropped her off and the crying began, but as soon as we were out of sight, she stopped. What didn’t stop was the guilt that I left my child to go do something that I wanted to do, but sometimes it’s necessary. We went to the service and it was awesome! And then we decided to run in the bookstore so I could get a book I’ve been wanting. I’m a sucker for humor of any kind (surprise, surprise) so I picked up I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. (I’m half-way through and it’s totally great so far!) We also treated ourselves to White Chocolate Mochas from Starbucks. It’s kind of our go-to coffee drink. And if you’re at the bookstore, you must have coffee. It’s a rule.
So, Friday night was pretty great! It’s very rare that the husband and I have any time alone. A few hours together going to church and the bookstore feels like we just went on a date. It’s really nice.
Today has been pretty great, too. It was supposed to be raining and nasty here, but we woke up to sunshine! It’s gonna thunderstorm tomorrow, but we’ll worry about that then. We have pretty much relaxed at home all day. We took Bink on a romp around the neighborhood in her car, sat out in the sun and read, and then drug her inside for a much-needed nap. Very low-key, but just what we’ve needed. It won’t last for long, though, because I’m going to drag them out and about as soon as she wakes up, but I’m relishing the laziness while it lasts. It’s not something we take advantage of often.
I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend! I’m on cheesecake-baking duty tonight (such a hard life) and will be celebrating tomorrow! God bless!