just letters

the one where mama is obsessed with the idea of new york

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dear silly girl,

something is wrong with my brain. suddenly, i am infatuated with new york. or well, the idea of new york. the new york that I see in movies.

trust me, i know it’s not really as i imagine it to be. the books i’ve been reading and the movies i’ve been watching recently are definitely to blame for my current fascination. every single stinking one of them have to do with new york.

so what have i been reading? well, i am late to the show, but i’m currently in love with nora ephron. i’ve watched sleepless in seattle, you’ve got mail, and when harry met sally about a thousand times but i never paid attention to who directed them. probably because i don’t usually care who directs movies. but after reading i feel bad about my neck and now reading i remember nothing, i am completely hooked. i’ve watched all of those movies over again.

she talks about new york like it’s the greatest place in the world. i think it would be overwhelming to live there, but i am dying to visit. once you get a little older, we’ll definitely be going.  in the mean time, my infatuation with all things new york is only making me wish we weren’t living here.

we live in one of the tiniest towns ever. we have one grocery store, three dollar stores, a pharmacy, and three gas stations. sure, it’s not so small that there’s only one traffic light, but it’s really close. all of those places are within two blocks of each other. oh, we also have a  hardees and a subway. and now you know everything there is in the town you were brought home to.

except the train.

did i forget the train? oh forgive me. there’s a train. it runs right through the middle of our teeny, tiny town. everyone living in our little town can hear the freaking train all day and all night. if you happen to be at the park beside the recreation department and the train comes by, you can watch the kids on the swings jump off and scream in terror.

it’s loud to say the least.

the one good thing about where we are right now is the deck on the back of the house. what’s so special about a deck you ask? nothing. it’s sitting on the deck that’s great. especially at night when the sky is clear and i can see all of the stars. when i sit back in my chair and just look up for a few minutes, it’s easy to forget all of the things that i need to do. it seems like something so small, but sometimes it’s nice to take a minute to notice the little things.

stars are something that i would miss if we lived in a big city like new york, but there are lots of other things that i would like. the walking, the convenience, the constant things to do. in my head i would like it anyway.

it’s too bad that the world isn’t just like a meg ryan movie. it would be so much nicer to live in. but until that happens, we’ll be here listening to the train, being fascinated by family dollar, and sitting on the deck.

it’s really not so bad though. we get to go for walks around our neighborhood without worrying about being mugged. we have nice neighbors beside us and that’s something we probably wouldn’t have in new york for sure.  i can also walk into the dollar store with no makeup on, wearing yoga pants and no one notices. because it’s the dollar store. the dude at the counter who looks like a wannabe thug really doesn’t care how i look while buying poptarts and aleve.

so i guess i may as well embrace where we are while we’re here and learn to enjoy the smallness of it all. because for now, it’s home.

love forever,



5 thoughts on “the one where mama is obsessed with the idea of new york

  1. I like the idea of NY too!! I just read a blog post (wish I had the reference for you) of how unglamorous it is to live in NYC with small children. Subways for one….and all those stairs…with a stroller. Think about it. 😉

    1. Very true! Hadn’t considered all of the extra baggage we have to haul around! And i would be terrified to ride the subway with a 2 year old!

  2. You should at least go to visit. We went there about a year ago and it was so cool! I’m not sure I could live there. But visiting was great.We stayed in Jersey and went over to NY everyday. So worth it. I was terrified of taking my 1 1/2 year on the subway but it actually wasnt that bad. People got up to let us sit together as a family. They let us know when to get off. People were very nice. We even got to see a subway quartette singing while riding. So cool. I definitely recommend it!

    1. I really want to go! I think I’ll wait until she’s a little older, but I’d love to go! What time of year did you guys go?

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