dear silly girl,
i don’t know what his problem is, but daddy has no respect for the power bill. i’m pretty sure when i leave the house, he runs into each room flipping on lights and laughing all evil-like. i imagine a crazy person running through a field of flowers when this thought comes to my head. yep… that’s him alright. his other current habit is leaving the screen door wide open while the air is on. who does that? i feel like a nagging hag while i yell, “rar-ray, you left the door open again!” through clenched teeth. who’s ray-ray you ask? that’s what i call daddy sometimes. you better be glad you were a girl or you would have been named [something] ray smith. which would have led to you being called ray-ray as well. see? can’t say fate never intervened on your behalf.
anyway, i don’t know what i’m gonna do with daddy. i’m busy unplugging appliances and he’s leaving the tv on while no one is in the living room. i’m leaving the heat and air turned completely off and he’s turning the air on 60 degrees like it’s the middle of august.
i guess i’m just gonna have to love him anyway.
so back to that name thing. you should know that at one point your father was trying to convince me to name you “solo” if you were a boy. what kind of name is solo?? his point was that no one else had that name. my point was that there was a reason for that. i would totally poke fun by flipping my hair around and pretending to play air guitar every time he mentioned it because that is what i imagined a person named solo would do.
if this letter doesn’t make you grateful for your mother, nothing will. a name sticks with you forever. i practically saved your life.
well, i’m gonna go see what form of electricity your father is playing with now.