dear silly girl,
i’m suddenly realizing that i do in fact have an accent. some people lovingly call it a twang. for a while i had convinced myself that i didn’t have much of an accent anymore because i was so used to talking as professionally as possible on the phone due to the office job from hell. it’s hard to speak with authority if you’re saying “y’all” and dropping your Gs all the time. but alas, it has returned. i actually asked you if you could say “windas” today. what the fudge are “windas” you ask? i believe the correct term is windows. you couldn’t even say “windas” when i asked you. i had to say it the right way and ask you to repeat it again. i’m happy to report that you can say windows just fine.
now before i go conjuring up visions of honey boo-boo in your mind, i’m really not like that at all. i sound sweet and kinda quiet when i talk for the most part. well, until i’m comfortable and then the volume gets turned up and my hands start flying.
i have a short little list for you of the things that i say almost exactly like britney spears and reba.
“windas” a.k.a “windows”
“yella” a.k.a “yellow” example: “get the yella one.” i know. it’s a cryin’ shame.
“n’em” a.k.a. “and them” example: “mama n’em went to the store.” i know. it’s even funny to read back to myself.
“sanwich” a.k.a. “sandwich” and let me just tell you that it’s better than “sammich” which is what your daddy says.
i’m sure there’s about 100 other words, but they’re so ingrained in me that i don’t even notice them. i am going to take this moment to explain my mother, your mimi, to you as well. she’s crazy and there’s no help for her. but crazy aside, she has the thickest and funniest southern accent ever. it’s not so much what she says as how she says it. “grass,” and other words that rhyme with it, sounds like… there is absolutely no way to spell it. just trust me and ask her about her grass one day. your great-papa, on the other hand, says words like “coner,” “aint,” and “fanger”. those words can be translated to corner, aunt, and finger.
our accents crack me up, but not as much as the words that our family says completely wrong. for example, if you get too skinny one day, gran will inevitably tell you that you look “anorexia”. not anorexic, anorexia. try as hard as you can not to laugh and don’t point it out. it’s a respect thing. someone has told her before and it didn’t stick so just let it go.
your aunt misty says several words all wrong, but the only ones coming to my mind are Desinteen (Desitin), tortillas (instead of saying it like “tortias,” she pronounces every letter), and nervous. i can’t tell you how many texts i’ve gotten that say someone is getting on her nervous. i usually write back and throw the word in there the right way, but she never catches it. and since it cracks me up, i don’t say anything about it.
anyway, no matter how backwards we sound, i love our accents. i love being from the south regardless of any negative connotations it provokes. it’s a culture. we’re friendly, sometimes overly so, we love to cook stuff that’s bad for you, but tastes good, we talk funny, and we’re all nosy, and i love every bit of it.
i used to want to live all over the place, but now i just want to vacation and visit everywhere. i can’t imagine living anywhere else.
now please excuse me while i go roll up my windas. it’s starting to rain.