just letters

the one about contacts and debbie

dear silly girl,

mama wears contacts. this, you probably know by now. if they’re not in, i can barely see my own hand held up to my face. i blame sitting too close to the tv as a child.

anyway, you watch everything i do and listen to everything i say right now. and apparently, you have paid close attention to me putting my contacts in. i had a contact case with a small amount of solution in it sitting on the bathroom counter last night. you came bouncing into the bathroom, because all of a sudden you are glued to my hip again, and decided that it was time to put your “eyeballs” in.

you walked over to the contact case, stuck your tiny, little finger in the solution, and proceeded to poke yourself in both eyes. ta da! it cracked me up.

you’re so smart. i know you’re mine and i’m biased, but i swear you are the most brilliant child ever.

now, i wish you would use your brilliance to connect having to go to the bathroom with doing it in the potty, but it hasn’t happened yet. i know you’ll get it. i’m just terrified that you’re gonna be one of those five-year-olds who still wear diapers.

but i know you won’t be. you’re too independent for that mess.

in other news, i am going to eat lunch with debbie shortly. the lady i used to work for. i haven’t seen her since mother’s day weekend and as everyone knows i am a terrible phone communicator. not that she’s any better. we only talk because i call. that’s a pet peeve of mine. one of the reasons i don’t like talking on the phone i think.

i’m really hoping that she doesn’t spend the entire time talking about her sort-of boyfriend who i think is a wack-a-doodle or how she doesn’t have any money…

because when she does that, she always proceeds to tell me about all of the crap she just bought.

dude… i have $50 til next friday and i’m holding that hostage to put you in the hospital because no one can tell me how much that is going to cost. i just know i need to have around $300 just to be sure.

so, if you want to know where your mother will be, i’ll be in a jungle in south america trying to find the cotton-picking money tree that apparently i am supposed to bring to south carolina, learn how to make grow, and free all of us debt-burdened, child-raising, credit-card paying people.

as soon as i do that, we’ll be all good.

until then, i’m going to go talk with a rich person about rich-people problems. like that dern ocean-front condo at hilton head that’s just pissing me off right now! {yes… that was sarcasm.}

love forever,



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