just letters

the one about college bookstores

dear silly girl,

our day started at 7:00 this morning. i woke you up bright and early, threw on some clothes, and out the door we went. this week is what’s called rush at school and this morning that’s just what we did.

rush is when college students, like myself, go to pick up their books and have tiny, little heart attacks at the checkout counter. you will understand this one day soon.

aunt jennifer and i rode together as we need moral support to have our tiny little heart attacks in the bookstore. or rather, i need moral support. jennifer could be on one of those shows about shopaholics who need a budget and clinical medication for addiction.

we walk into the bookstore, print our schedules out of habit, and begin perusing the shelves. plucky little book-pickers are chomping at the bit to search and deliver our ridiculously expensive books to us. i have no meds to deal with the book-pickers so i order my stuff online and just have to pick it up at a window. it’s already bagged, i just have to sign.

while we’re standing around like two drones who haven’t had their coffee, jennifer starts having an attack. not a tiny, little heart attack, but a retail-induced attack that completely obliterates her self-control.

i wanna look at one of those tablets, she says.

no, i tell her.

you suck.

no, i don’t. you don’t need a tablet. you have a new laptop.

i wanna get a new backpack.

no, you don’t. you just bought a new backpack last semester. there’s no way you wore that one out in three months.

you suck.

she says all of this while staring at lead pencils like they’re dipped in diamonds. something is wrong with her brain stem.

{i am her designated shopper. i help her maintain control around anything that can be purchased and taken home. she needs me.}

i grab a pack of paper and bravely walk to the checkout counter.

do you need anything else?, says one of the pluckys.

yes. i need to pay for my parking decal, get a lab coat, and a $20 print card.

in college, you have to pay for everything.

you have to pay for the stupid sticker that allows you to park your car in the parking lot. because let’s face it, parking lots are a lot of maintenance with all their… what? i don’t know.

you have to pay for a “lab coat” that is made of paper and cannot be washed. let’s say it together: ewwww.

and you have to pay to print from their printers. because all of that tuition money you pay, just does not cover the cost of a pack of paper. as a matter of fact, the price of that pack of paper you’re buying increases by like 10 times the normal amount. it’s crazy.

i buy these few things and my total is $66 and some change. then i go to the window to pick up my books and this time the price tag is much different. $528 worth of different.

i have a tiny, little heart attack.

i did manage to save myself an additional $300 by borrowing a book from Jennifer. and speaking of Jennifer, all this time she is still in the lead pencils fighting her urge to buy school t-shirts and tumblers. she does manage to purchase an agenda and print card before i drag her out of the store by her pony tail.

college bookstores will get you.

so always take a designated shopper with you.

Dollar for dollar

love forever,




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