just letters

the one about knowing when to leave

dear silly girl,

you’ve had your sassy pants on this week.

yesterday you got mad and said, “damn it!” at gran’s house. i got text messages and phone calls. i almost hid your father’s computer monitor as punishment, but then i didn’t.

he gets very into his game and cusses at the zombie men. i know that’s where you heard it. i’m encouraging him to use words like dang, shoot, and fudgesicle. we’re hoping to rehabilitate him as quickly as possible.

this week you’ve also been a fan of telling me, “yes, i am” or “no, i won’t” or “NOOOO!” you seem to be viewing my instructions as suggestions.

i am not a fan.

and i totally blame tinkerbell. she has a real attitude problem and you love her. i think we may just end up losing those movies.

…i spent several hours tagging clothes and toys to consign in this week’s consignment sale only to realize this afternoon that today is in fact not tuesday, and i missed my drop off time. yesterday. the owner is letting me drop my stuff off tomorrow. i hope it sells so i can avoid a trip back to Central.

… i’m in chemistry class with idiots. yesterday in lab, everyone, except my partner and i, copied answers and left. i thought the professor didn’t notice what had happened, but he did. the entire class received a very polite email expressing his disappointment. i feel bad for him. he’s Indian and because of his dialect, he is hard to follow sometimes. but he’s very patient and will show you again and again how to do anything you’re having trouble with. i felt like he was disrespected in class so i’m proud of him for sending his email instead of just putting up with it.

… i haven’t seen many classy people lately. as a matter of fact, i’ve seen an abundance of the opposite. daddy blames it on living in a tiny, podunk town. i say that’s no excuse. today alone i’ve seen a lady in her nightgown walking her dog down the road, a woman who let her kid drop his pants and poop in the grass at the park, and lastly, a girl with her finger up her nose while driving. she ended up pulling into the park with two dirty looking guys. one stayed on the phone, loudly saying things like dad i need to get a piece of junk car to cruise around in for less than $500. i’m not loaded. i just got out of the joint two months ago.  and dude can you believe how long i’ve been smoking this cigarette?!  he couldn’t. he kept talking about how amazing that was.

we decided it was time to go.

it’s important to know when to leave. it’s an underutilized piece of common sense.

never be the last one to leave a party.

never be the first one to leave a baby shower, a wedding, or a family dinner.

always try to leave a major event just a few minutes before everyone else.

of course there is one special circumstance in which you can just ignore all of these rules. if you are with people who you truly dislike being with or you’re miserable for whatever reason, just go ahead and go.

no rules are worth all of that.

also feel free to exit if there are weirdos at the park.

love forever,



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