just letters

the one about not being able to dress myself

dear silly girl,

there comes a moment in every adult’s life when you wake up one morning and realize that you don’t know how to dress yourself anymore. i don’t mean like you can’t physically get your clothes on. i mean, what the heck do you wear between the junior’s department and mom jeans? i’m always completely lost.

{and to clarify, i don’t own mom jeans, and i personally believe that all denim without pockets on the back should be banned world-wide.}

i have two polar opposite groups of clothing in my closet. it’s either dress clothes (from working in an office forever) or t-shirts. i’m actually sickened by the amount of t-shirts i own.

i looked in the mirror yesterday and asked daddy if he thought the rise of my jeans were too high.

{one moment while we all laugh at the question and the person dumb enough to ask it}

he said he didn’t think so.

and that’s good because since i gave birth to you, i have this weird roll of loose skin that would not be cute hanging over low rise jeans. {this may or may not have been written to inspire guilt in my one-day grown child.}

by the way, if you ever get the urge during your teen years to call me fat, get ready for a poster of said roll to be hung above your bed.

… after picking up aunt jennifer’s birth control for her from CVS (because i am too darn nice), i was driving through downtown Easley when i noticed a giant billboard sporting a fresh-looking newborn. it said, “Welcome Harper Grace” and had the parents names on it. my first thought was, someone really went overboard with their birth announcement. i’m all for being excited, and sure, i would have put your picture on a billboard to prove my love to you, but the thing is… you wouldn’t have even known.

… i know i need a vacation because the advertisement for Old-Timey Day on the news is starting to peak my interest the more they play it. which let’s face it, is every 5 minutes. anyone have a beach house and a private jet i can borrow?

… i had midterms this week which means my brain probably resembles scrambled eggs. i also have two more tests on Monday that i should probably be making flashcards for right now, but i just refuse. i’ll start them tomorrow. i deserve this five minutes to use to write you, read, and watch the Queen Latifah show all at the very same time. i’m a born multitasker.

but seriously, who can resist watching Queen Latifah? someone who is on the verge of being brain dead, that’s who.

well, i’m gonna use these last few minutes to read before daddy comes home and interrupts me every sentence. he’s adorable and that’s why he gets away with it, but since my brain is in the form of yellow mush, i just don’t have it in me to re-read sentences tonight.

love forever,

mama

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