just letters

the one where i sprayed you with the hose

dear silly girl,

i spent my afternoon cleaning out your car seat. it was utterly disgusting.

i periodically do this to keep it from embarrassing me in front of non-family car passengers. i don’t realize until i clean it just how many snacks i let you eat in your seat. i could probably tell you almost the exact amount of treats you’ve had because somehow, and it’s a mystery to me, they all end up squished underneath the padding of your car seat.

i scrubbed off the gook, washed the padding, and vacuumed out the non-sticky filth. and i won’t lie, i fed a few cheese puffs to the dog. i have no idea how old they were and apparently, she didn’t care. don’t judge me.

you are now the proud rider of a fresh, clean seat. i expect it to last all of 45 minutes.

… i want to move. i’m tired of coming home everyday and my first thought being i hate this house.  daddy has started hiding the matches.

… you tell everyone that your name is Baby Smith. it’s adorable, but i’m not sure how cute it’s gonna be when you’re in middle school. i make you practice saying it the right way every now and then, but as sure as some little old lady asks you what your name is, it’s Baby Smith again.

… i had a wonderful time this afternoon squirting you with the water hose. garden hose? hose pipe? whatever you call it.

thanks to the filth that falls off of the mimosa tree in the backyard, my car was starting to look like it was growing mold and bees were crawling all over it every morning. so i had planned to wash it this afternoon and daddy was embarrassed enough sweet enough to help me wash it. and by helping me wash it i mean he washed and i sprayed it off. i got the easy job! {hey, his exact words were, “do you want to wash or rinse?” he gave me a choice. i did not take the high road.} so while i was waiting for him to finish scrubbing away, i threatened you with the hose. and being the smarty pants that you are, you said, “squirt me, mama” like i wouldn’t do it.

i barely let you get the sentence all the way out of your mouth.

i soaked your shirt!

you were stunned that i was not bluffing. and from there, you just dug your hole deeper.

don’t run down the driveway or i’ll soak you good!

soak me, mama!

and i did.

every time you ran by, i hosed you down. it was glorious! it was like gentle revenge. i had the power and no fear of D.S.S. the more stunned you looked, the harder i laughed. and you loved it!

when you finally had your fill, we went inside, changed clothes, and plopped down on the couch to read books and watch Monsters, Inc. for the bazillionth time. Baby Smith was all worn out.

it was a good day.

we like those.

love forever,

mama

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