just letters

the one with the list

dear silly girl,

it’s been a week so let me give you an update:

  • you’re still peeing in your panties for no good reason.
  • you told me the other day, “mama, i’m your sunshine.” and you are. you absolutely are.
  • daddy is having surgery next week. i’m going to be in a hospital room by myself for 5 hours. that’s a lot of free time for someone with the attention span of a cocker spaniel. {totally focusing on the big picture here} he’s gonna do great!
  • i made a D on my chemistry midterm and thereafter decided every word out of my lab teacher’s mouth was stupid. i’ve never made a D in my life.
  • i have to dissect a cat tomorrow. thank God it’s already skinned. {words i never thought i’d say}
  • you have started cataloging every word out of my mouth. the other day you said, “mama, do you hear me? this is ridiculous.”
  • aunt jennifer got into the nursing program, which is a very good thing. i’m having a hard time being happy for her though because i’m bitter about my own program. i have straight A’s {until i finish chemistry, i’m sure} and still may not get in. something is wrong with this picture.
  • we will be moving either next month or the end of this month. not sure of the exact date yet, but i’m so ready. i may buy a houseplant for the occasion.
  • i put some furniture that we won’t need on craigslist and had a very snooty furniture store owner try to buy me off. unfortunately for him, he wasn’t into “parking lot deals” (his exact quotation in his email). and thanks to his sassy attitude, i wasn’t into “coming to my house deals.” i know about the craigslist killer. he’s not trickin’ me.
  • i hate being whiny, but can’t seem to help myself lately. i need to get out more.
  • i’m reading a lot of Erma Bombeck right now. something tells me i shouldn’t be relating to books written in the 70’s, but here i am. i’ve attempted to read 3 or 4 other books in recent weeks, but haven’t had the energy to commit. Erma has my sense of humor.
  • while talking to a classmate who has three older children, our conversation came to toenails. i informed her that brandon (my nephew, your cousin) has toenails that he could be snorting crack off of. i’ve gotta stop saying things like that or i’m gonna get a reputation. but long toenails totally gross me out. when i see his feet, all i think about are those freaky women who grow their nails out for the Guiness Book of World records. ewwww. they need prayer and an intervention.
photo credit: sabinaaubg.wordpress.com

if that image isn’t something from your nightmares, i don’t know what is.

love forever,

mama

 

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