just letters

the one about flea pills

dear silly girl,

it’s been one heck of a day.

first, i had to get you out of the bed and into the car in 30 degree weather this morning. i think that’s probably the worst way to wake up, and i hate that.

then, i had my bones and muscles test in anatomy this morning. my professor still hasn’t put our grades up. i hate that, too.

after my test, i went to the library. and let me just give you this pearl of wisdom: don’t go to the library hungry.

it sounds weird, i know. but seriously, don’t do it. if you do, you will magically end up on the cookbook aisle and come home with at least 3 gigantic cookbooks because everything in them sounds so good. i made it out with Around the Opry Table, The Amish Cook, and Martha Stewart’s Cooking School. will i make anything out of these cookbooks, probably not. but here they sit, right beside the bed. you are fascinated by the martha stewart one. it’s huge, you say. 

after i carried my stack of books to the car, i headed to gran’s to pick you up. once there, i started a grocery list, helped papa get his groceries in the house, cut mema’s hair, and swept gran’s floors. i need to learn what it is to sit down.

after trying to make the grocery list several times, i just wasn’t “feeling” grocery shopping today. i couldn’t think of anything to make. { you would think i woulda looked in my cookbooks, but i digress} instead, i got the bright idea to load the dog up in the car and head to anderson to pick up her flea meds and have her weighed.

we went to petsmart first.

and before i begin, i have another pearl of wisdom for you: never, ever, ever take a skiddish 50 pound dog and a 2.5 year old child into a pet store by yourself. it’s a bad idea.

we got biscuit in the store and wrestled her onto the scale.

42, 45.9, 53.8, 49.3, 50.3 biscuit stay still! 

casey, stand right here and don’t move.

biscuit, it’s okay baby. just stay. no, stay. biscuit, stop. 

casey, don’t move. stop running. 1… 2… if you move again, i’m taking you to the car.

biscuit, stop pulling. sit. biscuit, settle. it’s okay.

casey, now! stand right here and if you move an inch i’m gonna….

biscuit, stop!

it was mayhem. and this was the just the first time  we visited petsmart today.

we left there and headed to the vet that we normally buy her meds from. once inside, they informed me that they couldn’t sell me her pill because she needed to have a well-check first. i think that’s dumb.

so we left. i passive-aggressively told you we were going somewhere else.

we got back in the car, biscuit in tow, and went to target. i still had to buy you some white tights to go with your super hero costume.

they were sold out of tights in your department, so i ventured into the “big girl” section to see if they had anything that would do. i found the smallest tights i could and headed up front to pay. the lines were outrageous and you wanted the animal crackers we picked up in the dollar bin right then. i got in line.

i started flipping around the stuff in my purse looking for my wallet.

pen bag, perfume, flashlight, paper, gum, pen, headphones, ugh. where the heck is my wallet?!

you can go ahead of me, said the nice lady in front of me.

oh no, you go ahead.

no, really, you don’t have very much. go ahead.

well, i’m going to have to go out to my car. i think my wallet fell out of my purse.

oh, no. 

thanks, anyway. 

i slid of buggy, carrying 1 pair of tights and 1 small bag of animal crackers, behind a stand holding earrings that would turn your ears green. i picked you up and we headed to the parking lot. on our way, i noticed you felt wet.

casey, did you pee in your panties?

no.

you feel wet. do you need to go to the potty?

no. i’m scared.

of what?

i don’t want it flush by itself.

target’s potties don’t flush by themselves. it’s just a noise, sweetie.

they don’t flush by selves?

no. do you need to pee?

yeah.

i found my wallet and we went back in the store, straight to the potty. we handled our business and went back to our stashed buggy. we got in line, paid for our goodies, and hit the road again. but i figured that since we were already in anderson, we should go back in and ask how much the vet’s office in petsmart charged for a “well-check”.

$37 and the comfortis pill is $20.

okay, thank you. 

we walked around for  a few minutes looking at birds, fish, and cats before i decided to just make biscuit an appointment and get it over with. they got her in a 5:00, but as with all things, there was paperwork.

fill this out and we’ll see you at 5:00.

yay for me. i wrestled you back to the car after showing you the cats one last time. biscuit was freaking out as if she just knew something sinister was going down. i filled out the paperwork, got you and biscuit out of the car, and we headed in. little did they know that the circus had officially arrived.

we headed back to the back.

at this time you thought, hey you know what would be fun? jumping on and off the dog scale.

biscuit thought, i need to get out of here.

i handed the lady at the desk the paper work and she started typing away.

casey, get down. that is not a toy. 

biscuit, stop running around my legs. 

casey, now. don’t get up there again. 

biscuit, sit. just stay still baby. 

casey, come stand right here and don’t move! i’m not going to tell you again. 

all of this was a waste of breath of course. you knew that i had my hands twice as full as usual so there wasn’t a whole lot i could do to you. biscuit just plain didn’t care what my issue was.

biscuit, stop pulling. stay. stop going around my legs. 

this, of course, is when they decided to call us back. right at the exact moment that you were running around in circles and biscuit had wrapped her leash around my legs.

we finally got in our closet room with an eccentric vet tech who took her job way too seriously. i stood there a good 15 minutes while she tried to sell me everything in the store. all i needed was a flea pill to battle the neighborhood dogs and squirrels.

then the vet came in.

apparently, biscuit is not only on the verge of being taken over by fleas, but also allergic to flea venom. and since she’s 7 years old, she basically need every square inch of her body to be injected, scrubbed, and rubbed with one thing or another.

by the time the visit was over, all of the crap biscuit “needed” came to $126 and some change.

yeah… i don’t have $126 on me. i wasn’t planning on all of this. i just thought i was going to walk in to the vet clinic we always go to and buy a flea pill.

well, we can take this shot off and i can see if you can come back and pick up the antibiotics. 

sounds good. 

okay, that’ll be $55.

i went to the front to pay. biscuit was still frantically looking for an exit, any exit, and you were not cooperating.

mama, i walk by myself.

then you better walk right here beside me or i’m going to carry you like a baby. 

by the time we made it back to the car, i was exhausted and pissed off. all i wanted was to go home. your behavior didn’t get much better the rest of the day and neither did my luck.

i had daddy order us a pizza because i was starving and didn’t care about my family’s health in any way. we waited our 20 minutes and went to pick it up.

daddy came out without a pizza in his hands.

uh, where’s the pizza?

they’ve got to make it.

what?!

they don’t know if it was sent with a driver or if it just never got made. it’s going to be another 10-20 minutes.

fine. we’ll go in ingles and get biscuit some dog food to eat with her pill.

while in the store, you managed to hit your head on the tile floor after pulling away from daddy and falling.

there was screaming, there was crying, and there was echoing.

let’s go. this is ridiculous.

a bag of goldfish healed your wound. a half-off pizza healed mine.

we ate and then i headed to lounge in the bedroom because all i wanted to do was lay down. this day just needed to end.

i fished through my stack of books and settled on baptized in sweet tea by ken burgeryou had a marvelous time stacking and restacking my books and pretending that they were stepping stones on a lava lake.

casey, don’t jump on those books. you’re going to tear them up.

casey, stop pulling biscuit’s tail.

casey, leave my phone alone. stop whining. 

you’re tired and you need to lay down. 

lay down and don’t get up again. 

no, leave the phone alone. 

casey, lay back down or go in the living room with daddy. 

i’m not going to tell you again.

casey! lay down and don’t move! if you get up again, you’re going to wish you had stayed in bed!

you, while standing on the ottoman: mama, you ass.

and that’s the story of how you ended up being sent to an orphanage.

{enter shock and judgement by all readers}

i’m just kidding! i handled it and you laid your butt down because you somehow knew that the thin line you were already walking had disappeared.

it was just that kind of day.

nothing chocolate can’t cure.

love forever,

mama

p.s. i still love you more than life itself.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s