just letters

the one about no grade, peeing in public, and aluminum foil epiphanies

Photo credit: Quentin Bacon / Real Simple

dear silly girl,

i’m stepping out of my textbook-filled psycho-haze to let you know a few things.

#1. i still do not know my grade on my chemistry final. why? because apparently, whether or not i have my grade does not affect my professor whatsoever. i’m buying a voo-doo doll tomorrow.

#2. you peed in a public place today and shamed your family. {you didn’t really shame your family. if anything, you provided us a quick exit.} we were at grayson’s birthday party and you decided to just stand up and pee in your pants for no apparent reason at the very front of the arcade / inflatables / birthday party place we were at. i was embarrassed. you were embarrassed. i had no idea what to do and no help since daddy was in the bathroom. finally, he emerged from the potty and brought paper towels and a mop. we cleaned up the mess and then swiftly left. partly because i didn’t want you to be looked at as the kid who wet her pants. you wouldn’t think anyone would look down on a 2 year old for an accident, but there are some real jerks in this world. and unfortunately, some of them you are kin to. and i didn’t feel like going to jail today for assault in the event that a glance or a whisper caught my right hook. i’m just a little emotional protective of anyone making you feel bad about yourself. i want to shield that as much as possible. is it healthy? i don’t know. and i could have overreacted, but that’s neither here nor there.

when we got home, you came up to me and said, verbatim, “mama, i pissed on my shirt”.

i almost fell in the floor.

i don’t know where you heard that word, but i did not have the capacity to correct you at that moment. after communicating to your father through tears and shaking laughter what you had said, we were able to finally tell you to say pee instead of piss. 

you’re making it really hard for me to convince people that we are not hillbillies.

#3. you unrolled my aluminum foil today while i was cooking supper. this is the conversation that occurred.

you: uh oh.

daddy: {without hesitation } casey! what if the queen comes over and wants to see our aluminum foil? then what are we gonna do?

just forget it.

we are hillbillies.

love forever,

mama

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2 thoughts on “the one about no grade, peeing in public, and aluminum foil epiphanies

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