just letters

the one about the den of thieves

dear silly girl,

i’ve discovered something. i think you and the dog are tiny kleptomaniacs.

i noticed it yesterday. aunt jennifer and brandon came over for one of their 4 hour visits. {forgive me for noticing the length of time} she brought you a happy meal which you pretty much never get so you were super excited about that. brandon also had a big box of chicken nuggets he placed on our coffee table and then quickly abandoned to play games on the internet. and this is where the theft began.

i didn’t pay any attention to it until i noticed that you wouldn’t stay away from my desk.

what is she doing?

aunt jennifer was snickering.

she’s stealing brandon’s chicken nuggets and hiding behind her playhouse and eating them. 

you did it three times. we could not stop giggling at your deviance.

you’d sneak a nugget out of the box, go around brandon who was sitting at your strawberry shortcake table, behind your playhouse that’s in front of my desk, and hide behind daddy and eat the nugget. it was adorable in the worst way.

{in case anyone is worried that brandon was starving as a result of this theft, he wasn’t. he had already eaten half of them.}

later on, brandon accused aunt jennifer of eating his nuggets. we didn’t snitch on you, but we probably should’ve. we’ll let it slide this time.

and that brings me to biscuit.

i caught biscuit mid-criminal act, two different times, with her paws on the counter, stealing food and candy. what is happening in my home??  my adorable children have taken to crime like fish to water. it’s disturbing, and i’m thinking of bringing back the chain gang. i could latch you both together and make you do the chores i hate. then again, just being tied together would probably be punishment enough.

especially for the dog.

love forever,




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