just letters

the one about awesome tricycles, pigtails, and dog stories

dear silly girl,

i’m tired. very tired. it’s been one heck of a week! i had two major tests and a midterm this week. i’m pretty sure my brain actually swelled a little bit because my hair has been rather voluminous. anyway, it’s all over now. for a couple of weeks at least.

i’ve been thinking about all of the things i want to do right now and my list is really short so i think i’ll share.

all i want right now is:

1. for it to stop being cold.

we’re in the south for heaven’s sake. it’s not suppose to go from 30 degrees to 90 degrees. we’re due for our 2 weeks of spring.

2. to sit on the porch swing without powerpoint slides in my hands.

self-explanatory.

3. to sleep past 8 a.m.

body clock, i’m talking to you.

4. to watch a lot of SNL reruns.

self-explanatory.

5. to bake potatoes in the microwave

i don’t know what it is about microwaves, but i am not a fan. i avoid them like the plague. unless i need to melt butter. but gran has started microwaving potatoes so i’m gonna try it.

other people my age are partying or going downtown or whatever and i’m looking forward to potatoes. something is wrong.

but enough of that boring crap.

…WE GOT YOU THE MOST AWESOME TRICYCLE EVER FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY! daddy and i are way too excited about this tricycle! we just know that you are going to love it. you love riding your tricycle at gran’s more than anything in the world. so we had to get a super cool one to keep at our house. it’s awesome because it’s girly, but cool at the same time. we’ve been imagining you riding your super cool new trike, wearing your sunglasses, and sporting your pigtails while flying down the driveway. we’re complete dorks.

and speaking of pigtails, you have enough hair for pigtails! and they are adorable! i hope you really like them, too, because it’s going to be your hairstyle until you turn 25. don’t worry if it’s not cool when you’re 18. it’ll keep you pure.

… you really love dogs. and between our dog, biscuit, jennifer’s dog, duchess, her new rescue, jager, and the dog from across the street, peanut, i feel like we’re always surrounded by them. when i’m not with all of these dogs, someone is texting me pictures of their dogs or asking me how the dogs are doing. how the dogs are doing! they are dogs, that’s how they’re doing. so i’ve started texting back elaborate stories in answer to that question.

jennifer: how are the dogs doing?

me: duchess killed peanut.

jennifer: are you serious or are you kidding??

me: duchess was really pissed at peanut cuz she thinks he’s sleeping around so she talked him into going for a walk. they walked together to the pond, but only she returned. 

i know guilt when i see it. 

jennifer: amy, you’re special.

me: hold up… false alarm. biscuit saved peanut’s life. i saw her talking to duchess. after their chat, she and duchess walked to the pond and then peanut returned with them. biscuit told me everything. she said duchess had peanut tied to a stick hanging over the pond. 

jennifer: amy, stop.

me: oh snap… peanut just thought his balls were the size of boulders and tried to get a piece of biscuit. she punched him in the jugular and now he’s gagging. duchess got really pissed that he wanted a more voluptuous woman so she bit him and now he’s squealing. i’m calling the cops. CDV. 

jennifer: OMG! Stop! i’m sitting here laughing so hard i can’t breathe.

so since i get asked how the dogs are all the time and i entertain myself by making them have destructive, criminal personalities, i may write about it from time to time. just wanted to fill you in just in case you start wondering why i’m doing that.

what can i say. i am who i am.

and i’m your mother.

congratulations!

love forever,

mama

 

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