just letters

the one about u-haul stunt driving

dear silly girl,

yesterday was the day from hell. i’m pretty sure it was sent straight from satan himself. but we survived and even managed to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

my car, once again, would not start on monday after i left a gas station where i was picking up bags of ice for gran. i was so thrilled. so i called your dad, who had taken monday and tuesday off. lucky him. 😉

we’ll just get one of those u-haul dollies ourselves and bring it home. 

GREAT IDEA! or so we thought.

negative.

they were closed monday night so we had to leave it and wait until tuesday morning to try to get the dolly and bring it home. so yesterday, bright and early, we went to pick up our u-haul mechanism from hell.

$50 spent and off we went.

we were pulling the dolly with papa’s tahoe because dad’s little kia wasn’t going to cut it. not with my behemoth of a car. so we attached the dolly, pushed it backwards and tried to push it onto the ramps.

not quite high enough.

it rolled off.

so then daddy got the idea that after we pushed it backwards, i would hop in and he’d push us up onto the dolly and i could hit the breaks when it got to the top. the only problem was, i hit the breaks almost as soon as i hit the dolly because i panicked.

daddy was not happy.

he fussed, he had crazy eyes, and he said dirty words.

so then, i was really, really nervous. thank you, ray.

this, of course, is the time when you decided you had to pee. i took you in the store, looked all pitiful, and convinced the store owner to let you use the bathroom. you did your business and back to the car we went. i stuck you in the passenger seat and we prepared to try again.

this time, do not hit your breaks. don’t hit them AT ALL. there is a 6 inch lip at the top of the ramps and it will stop you. do not hit the breaks.

these are the directions that were barked at me by your father. i hope you’re happy, dad.

so this time, i did NOT hit my breaks! not a single bit! but unfortunately, daddy was wrong.

that 6 inch lip would have probably stopped a normal-sized vehicle, but it did not stop mine. hercules pushed the car, and up and over the ramps we flew! and then bam! down on the ground, with the u-haul dolly stuck underneath my car. the dolly that, remember, was attached to the tahoe, was now in between my front and back tires. there was no moving it!

i’m pretty sure i closed my eyes as we went over the ramps, because i don’t really remember seeing what was happening. now don’t forget that you, my dear, were in the passenger seat. you slapped your hands on the dash to catch yourself as we went over and worriedly said, mama, what happened?

we went over the ramps, honey. it’s okay.

but daddy was not okay.

daddy was a loony bird.

he had a moment.

you know what a moment is by now. it’s an adult tantrum.

he had his moment and i went into action mode. i called the people who i always call to tow my car. but they didn’t have the equipment to get my car off the dolly. we had to call 2 other wreckers before we found someone who could lift the front of my car straight up so we could retrieve the dolly.

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i had to have papa come and get us because i still had to go to school or they would withdraw me since last week was spring break. he picked us up and i borrowed their car to go to school.

but i thought, i’ll drive by and check on daddy and see how things are going with the wrecker. (i was literally 5 minutes from home) when i got there, the guy with the wrecker had my car pulled up in the air and was sitting it back on the u-haul.

what the? why?

daddy said he guessed the guy thought that was what he wanted him to do so he just went with it. they’d put the car on the dolly and he’d drive it to mike’s (the man who fixes el vehicle).

seems simple, right?

nope.

as daddy turned out into the road, the wheels on my car turned (while ON THE DOLLY) and my car almost hopped right off of it. luckily, the tow-truck driver saw this happen and beeped his horn. i was in front of daddy so i sped down the road to turn around. i pulled up to see what was wrong and daddy regaled me with the tale that i almost didn’t have an xterra at all. not even one to complain about.

just forget this u-haul crap and have him tow it! this is ridiculous! God is trying to tell us not to tow this ourselves. ever, ever, ever.

that’s what i’m going to do. 

$100. cha-ching!

so after we waited on the man to refuel, i had to drive in front of him to show him where to take it. apparently, tow truck drivers don’t need GPS.

so on our way we went. i’d like to say that the u-haul problem was the only thing that happened, but then i’d be lying.

on my way to school, after showing him where to drop my car, i spilled tea in my seat. my butt was completely wet. yay! i was late for class and got to walk in front of everyone with my wet butt. then after class, i drove my wet butt home and stopped at the top of the driveway to check the mail. we live in what we call a “holler.” we’re deep down a hill. so i put the car in park and pulled the emergency break up just to make sure the car didn’t go rolling down the hill. i checked the mail and hopped back in the car, but the emergency break would NOT release.

you have got to be kidding me.

but daddy was home so i could just beep the horn and have him come rescue me.

beep. ba-beep-beep-beep. beeeeeeeeeeeep.

nothing.

and my phone was dead.

damn it!

and i wonder where you learned that word.

i stomped down the driveway and banged on the door, because OF COURSE i left my house keys in the car!

daddy came to the door. i told him what i need and griped about him not hearing the horn.

he laughed at me.

he did hear the horn, but he just thought i was checking the mail! because apparently, i always sit and the top of the driveway and lay on the horn when i check the mail!

hardy har har har.

honey, whatever you did to deserve all of this bad luck, you are definitely paying for it.

apparently. just forget this. everyone get in the car! we are going out. we’re going to go out to eat and forget this day ever happened!!

and that’s just what we did.

we went to cracker barrel, ate breakfast, and bought overpriced treats from their store.

it was a day.

but at the end of it, we were together and we were able to laugh about it.

and some days, that’s all that really matters.

love forever,

mama

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