just letters

the one where i’m sleep-writing

dear silly girl,

i am so sleepy.

you didn’t want to go to sleep last night and did everything in your power to keep us awake. i’ve never heard you talk so much. crazy talk at that.

10:45 p.m.

mama, can i have a carrot?

mama, you need to cut your nails, girl! (that one made me laugh)

mama, can i have 2 carrots?

mama, i’m sooo hungry.

mama, i threw up last night. i’m sorry i threw up. i was a dog last night. (…still can’t figure that one out)

mama, i want to take a bath. right now! 

11:30 p.m.

mama, can i have chocolate milk?

mama, why do we have hoo-hahs?

mama, i can’t sleep. i can’t get comfortable. (pronounced comfer-bull)

mama, i need to go pee pee.

mama, you can cuddle with me now.

at which point you thought it would be awesome to blow in my face since i was pointing toward you.

12:20 a.m.

mama, i need to go pee pee again.

mama, if i drink milk i have to go pee pee. if you drink milk, you have to go pee pee.

mama, there’s a moth in here. i saw it.

mama, i need to wash my hands.

goodnight, door. goodnight, window. goodnight, curtains. goodnight, shadows.

mama, what makes shadows?

me: the light that’s coming in the window. go to bed.

mama, i didn’t even know that. {laughter and giggles} i sure didn’t.

casey, you have got to go to bed. it’s really late. stop talking.

mama, i gotta go pee pee again. 

mama, move your arm.



mama, i need my cup.

casey, go to bed. don’t say anything else. go. to. bed.

1 a.m.

and finally, you fell asleep. peaceful quiet filled the room.

and then i had to go pee. for the love of…

i didn’t want to get up this morning, and i’ve been dragging around all day.

it’s currently 5:21 p.m. and you have been sleeping for about 2 hours. it must be nice to get to take naps. it must feel so nice to just close your eyes and drift off. no one bothering you. no one waking you up. no one making loud noises or jumping on top of you.

i wouldn’t know.

i’m a mama.

love forever,

your mama

p.s. on the eve of your 13th birthday, you will begin to want to sleep all the time, and i’ll be so bored without you. this boredom will make me need things. things you can bring me. like  a glass of tea, my book, some carrots, or chocolate milk. who knows what i’ll need!  i may need the answer to some weird question that only you will know the answer to. but i know i can count on you to take care of me just like i’ve taken care of you on these  sleepless nights i’ve suffered through. thank you ahead of time for your cooperation.

p.s.s. love you.


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