just letters

summer

dear silly girl,

i try every year to love summer. i really do.

i make a fuss over things like tomato sandwiches, which i consider to be unforgivable to go through summer without. we cut up watermelons and especially cantaloupes, your favorite. we try to stay outside, playing in your kiddie pool, taking your bicycle to the park, and pretending to be thrilled with the giant frogs around the porch.

we went to the beach this year, attempted to go to a laser show, and still plan to go to the georgia aquarium.

but i still dream about fall every single day.

there’s a only so many times one can take a shower each day and after stepping outside immediately feel like you should go back in and wash. it’s no fun. it stays in the 90s here and before summer is over, it will probably reach 100+. but i’m not under any delusions that it’s hotter here than other places. i thank God every day that i don’t live in or near the desert. but it’s just not my season.

that said, when i graduate and we finally get to build our house, i plan to go ahead and get a pool. i know they’re a big pain in the tail as far as maintenance is concerned, but when you have to go through 5-6 months of summer like we do here some seasons, it’s a necessity.

maybe when we get a pool, summer will finally be my season.

i’ve been trying to stay present. usually by now i’ve watched every Christmas movie i can find. i don’t know if it’s because it’s so opposite of my reality in summer or what, but i do this almost every year. i consider it a monumental success that i haven’t done that this year.

my goal is to try to make the best of life wherever i’m at instead of focusing on or dreaming about the future. it’s really hard for me to do. i haven’t went all Christmas-in-July this year, but i have already planned halloween, so there. the truth is out. this year i’ve been focusing on fall to get through the humidity, but i’m trying to stop.

i want to love summer. i just don’t have the accessories needed to do it.

maybe if i had a stack of books taller than me that i wanted to read, i could love it. and maybe if i had a hammock like the one i bought in mexico, that some wild animal destroyed, i could enjoy it. maybe if i hired someone to cut the grass and weed-eat instead of doing it myself, it wouldn’t seem like such a burden. and maybe if i wasn’t ashamed to walk around with one of those circus umbrella hats that some old men wear while riding their mowers, i wouldn’t be so hot.

who am i kidding, i could walk around naked with a circus umbrella hat on and still be hot. then i’d just be sunburned and pride-less, too.

i will tell you what my favorite thing about summer is, and it involves a bug.

not one of the 4,000,000 bugs that bite us all summer long or fall out of trees onto our pets and ourselves. not one of the 1000 flying around any light source they can find and trying to race into the house when you open a door.

my favorite thing about summer happens in the evenings. at night if you step out onto the porch, or if you lay in your bed with all the windows tightly closed and nothing on the radio or tv, you can hear them.

july flies.

sometimes they are so loud that people complain about not being able to sleep. and i’m sure they are probably terrible for a garden.

but i love hearing them. the july flies combined with the tree frogs at night are my favorite part of summer. there’s something about it that calms me down.

of course, the only way to enjoy hearing them is to leave your porch light off and maybe spray yourself with bug spray before you go outside, but it’s worth it. now combine their music with a porch swing or rocking chair and it’s pretty great. not great enough for me to love summer, but great enough for me to like it.

for a moment anyway.

today isn’t so bad. it’s 11:29 in the morning and you are still asleep. i’ve got to start finding a way to make you go to bed at 9 p.m. it’s raining cats and dogs and will probably continue to do so all weekend. this rain will result in the steam and air being so thick that there’s no reason to attempt to fix your hair.

i know i’m going to feel sticky every time i leave the house for the next week, but for now, i’ll try to enjoy it.

i think i’ll sneak out to the porch swing right now and try to love it again before you wake up.

if it doesn’t work out, maybe you can love summer for the both of us.

love forever,

mama

 

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