just letters

Christmas 2014

dear silly girl,

I haven’t felt it this year like I usually do. I don’t know why, but I’m sure there are a few things contributing to my lack of Christmas spirit. However, a Scrooge or a Grinch I am not so i just wanted to tell you what Christmas is to me this year.

Christmas to me is orange slices simmering in water on the stove just because I like the way they smell.

It’s the smell of lavender cleaner and kettle corn because it reminds me of mine and dad’s first Christmas together.

Christmas to me is a pot of coffee constantly on. Don’t forget the orginal powdered coffeemate creamer and sugar that must accompany it.

Christmas to me is baking way too many desserts for Gran because she asks me to. It’s usually buttermilk pie, which i don’t like making anymore, pumpkin pie, and coconut cake. According to her, Christmas isn’t Christmas without my coconut cake. I’m not going to lie, the fact that she thinks that is probably the best compliment ever.

Christmas to me is tracking someone down to wrap my presents for me because I’m terrible at it. Gran did it for me this year. I just put the gift tags and bows on.

Christmas to me is baking 14 tins of cinnamon rolls and then declaring that 14 is too many. I will no longer bake more than 7 tins. So I say this year.

This year, Christmas to me is you being an angel in the church Christmas play. You launched yourself over the altar twice and ran around complaining that your wings were broken. I stood up to take your picture, not realizing my flash was on, and you proudly raised your hand to wave and pose.

This year, Christmas is yelling at the dogs for knocking ornaments off the tree with their tails every five minutes and pestering dad to constantly water the tree.

Christmas this year is having taxes and insurance on the house come due and being glad that I went Christmas shopping in November.

Christmas this year is reading as many books as I can and sleeping as much as possible because I know that my next semester is going to liquefy my brain. This is my last big break until next Christmas. But it’s hopefully also my last Christmas feeling like I still don’t know what I’m doing.

Christmas to me is cleaning the house from top to bottom because that really is a gift to me. Clutter stresses me out.

This year, Christmas is having so many Christmas cards that I can line them up across the china cabinet and hang them on the fridge. This is also the first year I’ve sent out a decent amount of cards myself. Last year I sent a gold one, this year I did silver. I seem to favor metallics this time of year.

Christmas this year is watching you decorate your dollhouse with Christmas lights.

It’s dreading Christmas day with my dysfunctional family like so many other Americans and contemplating mixing a drink before I go.

It’s wishing I was fancy enough to make everything in Garden & Gun, my favorite magazine and promising myself that one day I will in fact be able to salt-bake shrimp for Christmas and have enough land for Biscuit to roam freely.

Christmas is being with you and dad, visiting old neighbors, spending lots of time with Gran & Papa, and wishing we could live in a world like the one created in A Christmas Story.

Christmas is watching you blow bubbles in the kitchen while Jager chases a tangerine he’s stolen off of the table, all while talking to dad as he smokes on the porch and lists all the things he needs to fix his guitar.

Christmas is hoping to read you all the books I’ve been buying for Christmas and getting you to tell me stories before going to sleep.

Christmas is still having a string of lights to put up on the day before Christmas Eve.

Christmas is driving through Christmas lights while you sit in my lap so you can see.

Christmas is all the little things that have nothing to do with gifts or greed. It’s just life in red and green decorations.

Christmas is about Jesus, family, friends, and the hope of having a new year to try it all again.

It’s the love that encourages us to keep going, year after year.

Christmas is the wonder of a child and the peace that we all so desperately crave.

Christmas is you.

love forever,



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